


Knight of Zero

by Lizeth



Category: Code Geass, ゼロの使い魔 | Zero no Tsukaima | The Familiar of Zero
Genre: Big sister Siesta, Crossover, Everyone's a little broken, Familiars, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, Ghosts, Knight of Zero, Louise needs a hug, Magic, Magnificent Bastard Lelouch, Masks, Post-Zero Requiem, Redemption, References to Depression, Summoning, Suzaku also needs a hug, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Zero - Freeform, they get better I swear
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-15
Updated: 2018-03-16
Packaged: 2019-03-31 16:10:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13978761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lizeth/pseuds/Lizeth
Summary: Suzaku wasn't sure how he was suddenly in a world that was stranger than even Geass could account for, but he was going to get his best friend back. Somehow. Even if it meant defying his emperor's last wish.Louise wasn't sure if she'd somehow summoned a true-blooded human or a particularly rebellious homunculus, but Suzaku was her familiar and she wouldn't let him or anyone else forget that. She just had to catch him first.





	1. The Problem of Zero

* * *

Louise Francoise, 16 year old mage-in-training, was at her wit's end. Growling in frustration, she tugged her cloak and skirt from grasping branches as she floundered her way out the the shrubbery beneath the kitchen window. It was a small window, set about 4 feet above floor level, with a keystone arch and an inset wooden frame which had been thrown open in haste.

It was the same small window her _idiot_ of a familiar had jumped out of mere moments before.

Suzaku Kururugi, an 18 year old low-born magicless commoner, had _jumped out the window_ to get away from her, the noble third daughter de la Vallière! The sheer gall of it made her want to scream! And why the window? There was a perfectly serviceable door less than five paces to the left!

"Ugh!" Louise cried, as she finally tore free and rolled on to the cobblestone path. "Suzaku!"

"My lady?" came a tentative soft voice, "A-are you alright?"

Taking deep breaths against her fraying temper, Louise turned to the maid hovering uncertain by the door, black-haired and buxom in a way that made Louise want to cross her arms defensively. This servant had no doubt witnessed Louise's mad lunge after her wayward familiar, but where Suzaku had escaped with ease, Louise at a mere 5' in height had crashed into the sill and her floundering momentum subsequently sent her tumbling head-first into the bushes.

"My lady? Do you need a healer?" the maid asked tentatively, pale hands clasping her apron in concern.

"No!" Louise croaked, then had to blink her eyes clear as the pain registered, starting with a dull ache that seemed to throb with her heartbeat, then grew to a sharp stinging when she moved. She stared at her shaking hands and her muddied legs and torn clothes.

Scrapes and bruises.

Sticks and stones.

"I'm fine," the pinkette affirmed, pushing herself to her feet and resolutely straightening her clothes. "I'm fine."

Just as a group students walked by, giggling and stage whispering in voices that were still loud enough to carry.

" _Is that Zero still chasing after her fake familiar?_ "

" _She has leaves in her hair. Like a wild animal._ "

" _Give up already. It's too embarrassing to watch._ "

Furious, Louise turned and yelled. "He's not a fake! He _is_ my familiar! Just wait! He's... He'll definitely be the best familiar in the history of the academy!"

" _Preposterous._ "

" _That peasant?_ "

" _Ha!_ "

Blinking rapidly to a chorus of fading laughter, Louise turned away, picking leaves and twigs tentatively out of her hair. Slowly, she made her way in the opposite direction. The maid called out to her, but she ignored it.

She was a noble and a mage, daughter of Karin of the Heavy Wind. She was worth more than the petty gossip of school children. Louise Francoise de la Vallière was going to catch up to that idiot, then she was going to kiss him, complete their contract and then they would be Master and Familiar in truth. Just watch.

She took a deep breath and started her search again.

* * *

The curious incident of the fake familiar started no less than a week ago, at the annual Springtime Familiar Summoning Ritual.

The day had started routinely enough. Breakfast with his colleagues. Students rushing about on their way to class.

For the second year students though, the day was special. Excited by the prospect of finally gaining their familiars, they had been chatting excitedly as they gathered at the front gate and then on to the forest grove not far from the academy grounds. The castle was warded against outside influences and the ritual itself was better held on neutral or sacred ground. Here in the grove, where nature renewed itself daily, the students could reach for their familiars unhindered by centuries of lingering magical intent.

"I wonder if I can summon a griffin?"

"Oohh! Maybe something with soft fur..."

"I wonder what my familiar will be?"

"Quiet! Students, gather 'round. Remember, the incantations you've practiced. Now, Brimir willing, you need focus and intent!" Jean had urged.

Every mage had a familiar. This was an initiation of sorts. The familiar was a mark of Brimir's favour as surely as a wand was the mark of a mage. One by one Jean had nodded encouragingly as he called the students forward. One by one his students had marvelled over their new partners as he dutifully noted down each successful summoning. A toad here, a bugbear there. Even a dragon! How splendidly rare! And then...

And then there was Miss Vallière. The final and most problematic student in her year.

He wasn't sure when things had gone off course, exactly. By the time she was making her way forward, the muttering had already started.

" _I wonder if she can manage?_ "

" _She'll probably mess up again._ "

"Miss Vallière, if you please!" he had called over the voices, gesturing to the centre of the clearing. "Focus and intent."

Oh, he knew her reputation first hand. All the residents of the academy did, by now. Louise the Zero, whose spells failed loudly and spectacularly, who had yet to find her element despite a full year of study. Just yesterday, one of Miss Vallière's attempts at magic had destroyed part of Miss Chevreuse's classroom. Poor Chevreuse had still seemed a little shell-shocked at breakfast that morning. It was her first year teaching, after all, and Louise's explosive quirk was quite an unfortunate introduction to daily life at Tristain Academy.

But that was neither here nor there.

Louise had taken a deep breath and raised her wand, much to the trepidation of the rest of the clearing's occupants.

Jean arched an eyebrow as he actually saw some of his students edging their way towards the treeline.

" _My name is Louise Françoise le Blanc de la Vallière! Pentagon of the five elemental powers, heed my summoning and bring forth... my familiar!!_ "

...

There was a moment of perfect stillness, a void of thought and sound that stretched just long enough that the students began to relax and then--

**BAM!**

_"Zero!"_

_"I knew it, Vallière! You always blow everything up!"_

_"I can't see! Ugh! This smoke--!"_

"Professor Colbert!"

Jean Colbert startled, coming back to the present at the sound of his name. He rubbed his balding head sheepishly at being caught so unaware.

More than a week since the summoning, and Miss Vallière still hadn't properly bonded with her familiar. Suzaku Kururugi's athleticism certainly surpassed any of the castle's residents and other than the initial summoning, Miss Vallière had yet to get within arms-length of the boy.

The entire game of cat and mouse would be entertaining, if it wasn't for Miss Vallière's penchant for collateral damage. The Headmaster had had to ban her from using magic outside of class. Since then, Vallière's odds of catching her wayward familiar had dropped considerably and her future as a mage was getting murkier by the day.

"Professor?"

"Miss Longueville, good day," he greeted the secretary amicably, tapping his staff against the floor. "Forgive me, I'm afraid you caught me lost in thought."

"Oh," the woman, blinked, adjusting her glasses. "You seemed quite deeply perplexed, professor. What were you thinking about?"

"Our resident chaos entity incarnate," Colbert chuckled wryly, nodding at the strange scene below. In the courtyard, young Miss Vallière flailed as she was mothered by one of the household maids, sputtering ineffectual protests as said maid ushered her efficiently into the kitchen, presumably to treat the girl's wounds (and most likely to feed her a bit as well).

"Ah, that's right! The headmaster wants to see you in his office," Miss Longeville explained.

"I see. Thank you, Miss Longeville."

Turning away from the window, Jean stepped to follow Old Osmond's secretary.

Miss Vallière would no doubt be fine. 

 

* * *

**Author's Frustrations:**

You'll have to forgive my lack of in-depth knowledge of both series. I watched bits of Zero no Tsukaima a long time ago and I stopped watching Code Geass when the urge to punch Suzaku became too much.

So.

I'm sure you've all felt the need to punch Suzaku in the gut at least once (or several times) but what he's doing to himself is worse than anything anyone else can come up with. His inner monologue is a litany of self-hate, self-flagellation, SCREAMING GUILT!, and despair.

Take all of that and bury it under a sense of purpose, the bigger the better, and you have a semi-functional insomniac workaholic with nothing else to live for.

Thanks, Lelouch.

This was written to fix that a bit, because I _want_ to like Suzaku -- I really do -- it's just that he's a bit of a traitorous ass-hat.

Next up is his POV and Lelouch makes his appearance as well.


	2. Zero's Ghost

* * *

" _Suzaku, wake up._ " 

Suzaku woke up confused and extremely disoriented. The world was too bright, too loud and hazy. His body and head were heavy. The clogging smell of smoke lingered in the air and he had to suppress the urge to choke and cough. 

Someone was standing over him. Female. Young. Irritated. Karen? No... 

She was leaning down over him now and-- too close! 

His hand shot up to block her face. 

"I'm breathing fine on my own!" he yelped, rolling away. Dimly, he realized he'd shoved her back and she'd landed and in an awkward sprawl on the ground. A spattering of laughter had risen as a result, but he was more preoccupied with the realization that his hands were bare. He stared at them, frozen. 

He'd barely managed to take off his gloves, boots and his cape because he hadn't slept in close to 60 hours and his vision had been blurring badly as he'd made his way back to his quarters in Pendragon, the door automatically locking behind him as he'd slumped down against the bedpost and... 

The mask had come off first. 

Zero's mask. 

Snarling, Suzaku jerked an arm up to cover his face. Too late. _Too late._

"Now calm down, young man--" 

"Where am I?" he demanded, cataloguing the whispering crowd around him as low threat/civilian before snapping his gaze back to the middle-aged man who'd spoken. "What do you want?" 

"We are just east of Tristain Academy of Magic. I'm sure this is all very confusing for you. This certainly is unprecedented but--" 

"Start speaking sense," Suzaku snapped, "Why did you bring me here?" 

The man frowned, taking in the boy's defensive posture and the aggressive tone. Combat training, to be sure. Disoriented and dangerous. Slowly, the professor lowered his wooden staff to the ground, straightened and raised empty hands placatingly as he stepped forward, away from his students. Miss Valière was still too far for him to reach. 

"Stay back!" the boy warned, one hand reaching towards his ankle. A concealed weapon of some kind? 

"You were summoned, you see," the professor said, tone level, factual, as he stopped a respectable distance away. 

"Summoned? What are you talking... about..." 

There was a giant lizard hobbling its way towards him. There was a giant red lizard and its tail was _on fire_. 

Suzaku staggered back. 

There were creatures scattered all around the clearing. He'd glossed over them before, his mind failing to even register their presence, but now that he looked again they were undeniably there. Some of them were perfectly normal, like the cat that hissed at him from someone's shoulder. Others made his mind stutter a bit, like the floating eyeball hovering anxiously near the treeline or the _lizard on fire snuffling curiously at his feet_. 

"Oh, Flame!" a sultry voice beaconed from a distance. 

Suzaku dragged his eyes back up to the man as the lizard thing shuffled away. 

"What the hell is this." 

"As I said, you were summoned here. My students spent the morning summoning their familiars and you now rank among their number," the man frowned. "Unbelieveable as it is." 

The brunet clenched his jaw, thoughts fracturing in a dozen different directions at once. 

"Who summoned me?" Suzaku ground out, blood pounding painfully at his temples. "Take me back!" 

The little girl he'd pushed aside was straightening up now, chest puffed out and hands fisted on hips as she prepared to deliver a tongue-lashing but the man caught her elbow and interposed himself between them. 

"I apologise. My name is Jean Colbert and these students are my responsibility. If you will, we can discuss this further at the Academy." 

"No," the teen shook his head, squinting against the afternoon sun. "No, I'm not going anywhere with you." 

"That's hardly--" 

"You brought me here without my consent! I don't even know how! This can't be real! I can't be here!" 

Colbert raised his hands again. "I assure you this is quite real. And I am sorry, but you're not in any condition to go off on your own." 

Suzaku growled out loud, even as he curled defensively. There was something wrong with him, he realized with disgust. His limbs felt heavy and his vision was starting to blur. Was it the smoke from before? It was hard to breathe. His chest hurt. 

"Where's the nearest settlement?" 

"Half an hour glass south, by carriage." 

"...Alright. Then I'm going there. Don't... don't follow me," he ordered ineffectually. 

"You lack proper footwear," the man countered innocuously. 

The boy scowled down at his socked feet. He'd damn well sleep with his entire Zero outfit on, next time, boots and cape and all. 

God, they'd seen his _face_. Didn't they recognise him? 

...What were they talking about again? 

"Doesn't matter. I don't... trust you," Suzaku stated, his words starting to slur. _Damn it. Damn it. Dammit! How d'I get out?_

Colbert frowned harder, exchanging a glance with a blue haired girl off to the side. There was a glassy quality to the boy's eyes now but his frame was still tightly coiled, ready to do violence should anyone or anything approach. 

"That may be, but please, allow us to help you. I suspect you are very far from home indeed," Colbert was saying, nodding. 

Suzaku prepared to run, instincts screaming. 

But a sudden rush of wind knocked his feet out from under him. 

" _Kuso!_ " he hissed. 

He attempted to tuck into a roll, but there was no ground to meet him. 

Then the world tilted sharply on its axis and it was all he could do to stay conscious. 

* * *

The boy struggled the entire way, flailing wildly in his prison of air, pushing and snarling and pounding at nothing. 

It was only the Professor, the student, and the familiar now. The rest of the students had been dismissed. 

What had been a short stroll this morning was a long and arduous march now, Colbert thought grimly as the academy gates came into view. 

The headmaster and his secretary met them at the entrance, having been alerted by the students he'd sent ahead. 

"Ah, my friend, this is a surprise," Old Osmond stroked his beard in consternation as the yet unnamed youth glared with fever-bright eyes, doggedly unwilling to stop his attempts at escape. It was confounding that the boy could even move at all, at this point. "So this is your familiar, Miss Valière?" the old mage asked as they made their way to the infirmary. 

"He's... Yes, Headmaster," she demurred, casting concerned glances back at the boy she's summoned from the ether. 

"Curious indeed," the headmaster opined. "You've landed yourself quite the catch, Miss Valière. Congratulations." 

"Headmaster," Miss Longueville deadpanned, disapproving, as the young student blushed and the old man chuckled to himself. 

"Headmaster, Professor," Louise hesitated, "Please let me try again. I haven't completed the contract! I'll summon something more appropriate this time!" 

"Oho?" 

But Professor Colbert was already shaking his head. "I'm sorry Miss Valière, but a summoning cannot be annulled. Your familiar is your familiar until death." 

"But surely..." she protested, "He can't be a proper familiar. There must be some mistake! There's no way a commoner could be a familiar." 

"Then perhaps he's not a commoner at all," Miss Longueville interjected. She clutched her papers to her chest as they turned to look inquisitively at her. "Perhaps he is a particularly well made golem or a homunculus." 

"Golems don't fall ill," Professor Colbert shook his head, "and as for homunculi... no mage could ever make one this convincing." 

The boy in question was noticeably flagging now, listing badly to the side as far as his invisible constraints would allow. He was pale and his lips had the faintest tinge of blue. 

Alarmed, Colbert cancelled the spell and set the boy down, fully intending to check for hidden ailments. 

The moment his feet hit stone, however, the youth jerked upright and shot back towards the exit. 

Several cries went up at once and there was a piercing shriek as Miss Longueville, who had been bringing up the rear, dropped her papers and tackled the boy's side as he passed. He tripped at the sudden weight and they both tumbled to the ground, the boy's head cracking against the stone as he went down. 

"Miss Longueville!" 

"Miss Longueville! Are you alright!?" 

"Yes!" she gasped, "Yes, I..." she looked down at the boy who had fallen underneath her. He was totally insensate now, crumpled like a discarded doll among a mess of papers. His breath whistled faintly in his chest. 

Valière had taken to hovering uncertainty over her unconscious familiar, seemingly torn between the impulse to give aid or to shake the youth awake and yell at him. 

Colbert seemed to have the situation well in hand as he carefully checked the boy's head. 

The headmaster reached down and pulled his secretary back to her feet. "My dearest Longueville, that was an incredible. I've fallen even more ah--!" he cut off, wincing as she pinched his wandering hands. 

"I appreciate the sentiment headmaster, but what now?" 

Then in infirmary door opened, and an infuriated water mage stepped out. 

* * *

When Suzaku next awoke, he was in a bed and he was surprised to be unbound. 

"Awake are you?" 

Suzaku pushed himself up on his elbows to see a white-haired woman puttering around across the room. She was waving a wand as streams of coloured liquid crashed together in the air in front her, swirling like miniature whirlpools. 

"You gave everyone quite the scare, earlier," she chided, "My name is Antoinette Daquin. You're in my infirmary." 

Suzaku's head thudded back against the pillow. It hurt. Everything hurt. There was a constant, subtle tremor running through his arms. He was cold. 

"What are you doing?" he croaked, voice coming out hoarse. "What have you done to me?" 

The woman split her concoction into several vials, then corked them all except for one, which she brought with her to his bedside. 

"What have _I_ done? You, my dear, are very badly ill. Stress, I suspect. Fatigue compounded with an underdeveloped immune system and who knows what else. On top of that, you had an unfortunate reaction to something in that clearing. We're not sure what it was. What have you to say for yourself, young man?" 

Suzaku opened his mouth to reply acerbically but started coughing and then he _couldn't stop_. 

The old matron was there, a hand slipping under his neck and tilting his head as she poured the contents of the vial down his throat. He swallowed once, reflexively, before he jerked his head away and coughed the rest up on his pillow. He curled away from her. 

Madame Daquin merely reached out to straighten his limbs as she chided, "Here now! What a waste of good medicine!" 

Suzaku glared at her from under heavy eyelids. "I don't get sick," he wheezed. 

The woman stared back, unimpressed. "Clearly." 

He shook his head, swallowing down nausea as the world spun. "No, you don't understand. _I can't get sick_." 

"Everyone gets sick," she stated grimly, "In your case, you've obviously been pushing yourself too hard, too long. It's a wonder you haven't collapsed before now!" 

Suzaku lay there as the healer worked. He couldn't understand the situation he was in. Nothing made any sense. 

She changed his pillow and fussed with his blankets. Checked his fever. Checked his breathing. Went back to swirling liquid in the air. 

He really should escape, shouldn't he? 

Eventually, he dropped off. 

* * *

"This is depressing," someone huffed. "Can't you do something about this gloomy weather?" 

Suzaku glanced up at the overcast sky and then back over to his best friend. 

Lelouch, dressed immaculately in his black Ashford student uniform, merely frowned at him. "This is your dream, you idiot. Fix it. I didn't come here to get rained on." 

Grumbling, Suzaku lay back on the grassy slope, tucking his arms under his head and closing his eyes. Slowly, slowly, sunlight began to filter through his eyelids. 

Somewhere close by he could hear other students on their way to the dorms, chatting about everything and nothing at all. Happy laughter. Club members practicing their drills. The faint neighing of horses in the distance. 

"Hmph, better," Lelouch said. There was a rustle of clothes as the Britanian teen dropped down to the grass. 

"I'm so glad you approve, your highness." 

Lelouch kicked his leg. 

"Ow!" 

"Cheeky." 

Suzaku opened his eyes to glare at his friend. 

"What are you plotting now, Lelouch?" 

"Plotting, am I?" the Black Prince sniffed in disdain. 

"Always," Suzaku affirmed, perhaps a little more fondly than he'd intended. 

Lelouch nodded in acknowledgement. Then wryly shook is head. "Nevermind that, Suzaku, don't you have something you want to tell me?" 

"No," Suzaku countered mulishly. 

"Really? Nothing at all?" 

"I've been kidnapped and incapacitated by a medieval splinter cell of the Geass Order. I'm hallucinating, but I'm not cooperating." 

Lelouch scoffed. "Well that's rather grim, isn't it?" 

Suzaku hummed ambiguously. 

"Suzaku..." 

The Japanese teen rolled over to the side. 

"I can't hear you. You're not real." 

Lelouch made a noise of supreme irritation behind him. 

"What if I told you you've been summoned to another world to be the familiar of a sixteen year old girl?" 

Silence stretched, incredulous. Then Suzaku rolled back around to face him. 

" _I have not._ " 

Lelouch merely nodded wisely. 

"Have you been letting C.C. rot your brain with shoujo manga?" Suzaku accused. 

"Hardly shoujo, I would think. Though I feel compelled to defend the good name of--" 

"Lelouch!" Suzaku cried, sitting up, exasperated. "I don't believe this!" 

"That's the problem, isn't it?" 

"Be serious! Stop laughing at me!" 

"It's hardly my fault you're so dense." 

Suzaku scowled back. "Let's say, for argument's sake that I've been... transported to another world... with dragons and floating eyeballs and wand-wavy witches..." 

"Mages!" 

"Whatever! But they all just happen to speak perfect Britanian English?!" 

"Do they now?" Lelouch drawled. 

Another incredulous pause as Suzaku narrowed his eyes and thought back slowly. 

"Wha-- Lelouch, did you data dump an entire language into my head?! How does that even _work?!_ " 

Lelouch actually looked smug and was waving a hand dismissively. 

"Oh, don't look so incredulous, Suzaku. This is hardly the most unusual phenomenon you've ever witnessed. Consider it a boon." 

"Yeah, thanks," Suzaku muttered mulishly as he scrubbed his hair. The idea of someone, even Lelouch, messing with his head to any extent... Although if it had to be someone, he preferred Lelouch over C.C. 

Speaking of... 

"C.C.'s totally corrupted you. Are you eating pizza at every meal now? Have you already built a gilded shrine in honour of Cheese-kun?" 

"Suzaku. Please," the Britanian prince actually looked pained and Suzaku smirked triumphantly before he sobering. 

"Lelouch?" 

"Hm?" 

"The nurse said I was sick." 

"Yes," his best friend answered calmly. 

Suzaku just stared. "That's impossible." 

"Is it?" Lelouch asked airily. 

"Yes, it is! I haven't gotten sick at all since you Geassed me! I've been healthy. Unnaturally healthy." 

The black-haired teen raised both eyebrows archly and made a point of scanning him up and down. Slowly. "You mean besides the debilitating fatigue and obvious mental impairment?" 

"Wha-- no! That's...! I mean..." Suzaku growled, standing up and towering over his friend. "Lelouch! Don't change the subject!" 

Lelouch chuckled, then went quiet, staring off into the horizon. Grumbling, Suzaku eventually flopped back down, pulling viciously at the grass under his fingers. 

... 

"You're right, it should be impossible, but the logic of this world is different," Lelouch sighed. 

Suzaku's brows furrowed. "What are you talking about?" 

"This world, the one you've been summoned to and refuse to acknowledge the existence of, it's outside the influence of Geass." 

Suzaku turned to look at his friend disbelievingly 

Lelouch smirked back at him. "Geass doesn't work here. The World of C has no foothold. You are, shall we say, out of my dominion now." 

"What?" Suzaku repeated, stunned. "What do you mean?" 

Lelouch tisked in annoyance. 

"How long have you been eighteen, Suzaku?" his best friend asked abruptly. "It's been a few years, hasn't it? Since I died?" 

Dread dropped like a stone in the pit of Suzaku's stomach. 

"Lelouch..." 

"How many?" the raven-haired royal pressed, "Two years? Three?" 

"L-lelouch--" Suzaku stuttered, protesting. This wasn't what he wanted to hear, but the other pushed on unheeding. 

"...Ten years?" Lelouch turned, solemn in his white emperor's regalia, to catch his gaze, "Or more?" 

The sound that escaped Suzaku's throat was like the keen of a broken animal. He clasped both hands over his mouth and doubled over. 

_Nonononononononononono--_

And Lelouch was watching. Had _been_ watching the entire time, deep purple gaze filled with something uncomfortably close to pity, _damn him!_

Suzaku had suspected. Or known. Or wished. Always. Even if he denied it every time he woke. Even if he passed it off as a crazed hallucination time and time again. There was a ghost haunting the edges of his consciousness, trading jokes and barbs and whispering plans and strategies and intrigue. Lelouch had been in his dreams, just like this. His own personal demon and benefactor rolled into one. 

That's why sleep was a little like dying. He feared it, but oh, how he _craved_ it. 

The worst part though... The worst part was that he _always woke up_ and reality was like a million shards of heated glass gouging into his brain every time he opened his eyes and Lelouch wasn't _there_. 

If this was somehow real... if he wasn't just crazy or drugged to the gills and Lelouch really had been with him the entire time but _now_ \-- 

Somewhere, distantly, thunder rumbled threateningly. In contrast, Lelouch's voice when he spoke again was painfully gentle. 

"How long has it been since time stopped for you, Suzaku?" 

Anger. 

_Anger!_

_He had no right! How dare he?!_

_Angerangerangerfear!_

"Don't do this, you bastard! What more do you want from me?!" Suzaku spat out instead answering. He was shaking with anger. Anger was good. Anger kept him going. "I did what you asked!" 

Then Suzaku's mind went blank with a litany of _Nonononononononononononono!_ because all around them, the sky began to darken, a frigid wind picking up and rattling violently through his bones. 

And Lelouch ignored it all and stood, hands loose at his sides, that stupid white hat perched on his head like a funeral shroud. A dead boy in emperor's clothes. 

"When I imagined the Requiem... it was an exercise in planned obsolescence." 

"Lelouch!" Suzaku howled, struggling to rise. Torrential rain poured down like the sudden bursting of a dam, plastering Suzaku's hair to his head and turning his clothes into a cold constricting mass that strangled the breath from his lungs. The wind shrieked around him but Lelouch's voice was all too clear. 

"For me, obviously, but I suppose given how things proceeded, for you as well. I had hoped that, given enough time, you'd find something to live for beyond the purpose I crafted for you," Lelouch shook his head. "But in the end, I was too selfish to sever our ties completely. I should have made it clearer." 

"Don't talk like that, Lelouch. You're here aren't you? You're with me, aren't you?! You can't mean to--" 

A heavy sigh as Lelouch placed a palm against his own chest, _right over the heart where--_

"I smuggled myself in with you. But it's gotten a little difficult now, to be honest." 

Suzaku dragged himself to his knees as the sky itself seemed to collapse on top of him, burying him under an intangible, unfathomable weight. Shaking his head frantically, he tried, ineffectually, to shield his eyes from the downpour that blanketed his vision. When that failed, he pressed his head to the mud and shoved his hands over his ears, unwilling to hear the death kell that was fast approaching. 

"It was a little too much for you, I think. I asked for too much. So this is the last time, Suzaku." 

" _Please!_ " 

In his mind's eye, his emperor was the perfect centre of calm amidst the raging storm. 

"Suzaku," Lelouch smiled and everything shattered. " _Live._ " 

* * *

Mme Daquin dropped her tray with a clatter as an ungodly howl rose from the boy in the bed, high and wailing and filled with enough grief that she'd feared his heart had been torn right out of his chest, fresh and weeping with blood. 

"Young man! Oh!" 

He'd thrashed and she'd bound him. 

He'd clawed for purchase and she'd held him. 

He'd wept and she'd soothed him. 

Then finally, finally he slept and she watched over him, her heartbeat slowing into something less resembling panic even though his seemed now to beat sluggishly, laboriously. 

He was trembling again. From the illness or some unimaginable torture of his own making, she didn't know. 

She summoned a damp cloth from the basin on the bedside table and settled it on his forehead, trying in vain to smooth the deep fissure in his brow. 

Who was this impossible boy and what kinds of wounds were hiding underneath his fevered skin, deep down where she could neither see nor hope to fix them? 

She smoothed his blankets and settled in for a long night's vigil. 

* * *

**Author's Frustrations:**

*punches Suzaku in the kidney* 

THESE CHILDREN. 

HnnnGGGG!!! 

Suzaku's sickness has been brewing for a while now, but the Geass held it off until he got pulled into Halkeginia and then _bam_! Deep fried Suzaku! 

Guess what? When I was coming up with this story, Lelouch wasn't in it at all. Then somehow he's wormed his way in, the rebel, but in typical fashion he burned all his bridges on his way out. He was actually supposed to haunt Suzaku for a lot longer. 

Does anyone know the actual name of the Academy healer? Does the Academy even have a healer on payroll? 

Lelouch's initial orders upon Requiem were pretty much "Bury Suzaku Kururugi and be Zero forever" but now he's saying "Forget the last however-many years and live for yourself, Suzaku." Strangely, Suzaku did not take that well. At all. 

Well, I haven't actually written fiction in around 10 years. Lemme know how you found it, yeah? 


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